A day in the life....

Wake up at 8, knew immediately I could not hold my pee in for another hour before my alarm went off.  Quickly raced to the bathroom and fell back alseep as soon as I came back.  Woke back up again and the first thing that comes to mind, my fuckin Verizon Bill. FTS.  I get out of bed, glad I decided on not getting up to workout.  I knew I wouldn't have had a decent workout on that little of sleep.  ANYWHOS...my mom gets up and starts walking around, comes near me and says that Grandma is in the hospital.  Really? ?!?!  I already feel the anxiety of this day building up inside of me.  Feelings of frustration over my phone bill, powerless over not being able to do anything about my Grandma and then when I eventually start getting ready for my internship I can't find my boots, the outfit I put on looks like shit, the second shirt I put on looks like crap, now I am starting to become miserable.  I hate the way everything looks, why did I binge?  Why do I binge?  I hate myself right now...I throw a shirt on I am pretty sure I wore last week, I'm getting serious now, throwin the hair in a pony and puttin the hoops on.  I head out the door, running late and honestly not even giving a shit knowing I still have to get gas, food and absolutely and energy drink.  Get to the gas station, feelin sassy, then get to tops.  At this point I feel anger, rage, I want to listen to Tom C. music all day long and wallow.  

::PAUSE::  this is a vulnerable situation for me, I am angry, upset, a walking ball of emotions and I am about to enter a grocery store with accessible bulk foods,,,chocolate..almonds...candy

Resume.... I walk into the store thinking to myself: you know what Talia?  This is your chance, this is your chance to take control.  Ask yourself what you want.  Do you want to feel like you did before you left the house trying on clothes for 5 minutes not liking how you look in any of them or picking out and wearing the first outfit you take out of the closet knowing before you even put it on that you will look amazing.  Confidence comes from you Talia, no one else, change comes from you, no one else, this is your opportunity, you chance to show yourself that you have what it takes to get to where you want to be.  Think carefully before you make horrible eating decisions.  As I walked out, I felt so proud carrying my bag of romaine, tuna, nuts, sugar free balsamic and an ABS magazine... proof...

This is my life...my decisions...my chocies..all of them lead to where I want to go.....so fast forward to my internship, had my evaluations done this week for this whole shebang and they both went really well.  I am proud of myself for the skills I have learned, the friends I have made and the professional development I have gained from this experience.  Also today, one of our clients made me think of myself, how I am dealing with change, anxieties and being taken out of a comfort zone for a relationship.  I do know though that sometimes (and I KNOW it's true for this time, at least for right now I do, I know I can't predict the future and if something doesn't turn out the way we think we must eventually move on but for now I can say I KNOW) that sometimes we have to take ourselves out of that comfort zone to grow, develop and change for the better.

Afterwards I went tanning and then to Verizon to deal with this whole bill.  I made some friends with some of the employees, all admiring my Noosa Tri-'s (hell yeah I should wear these babies EVERYWHERE) I was dressed in my gym gear and lookin fresh hahah.  So eventually I got paired up with Adam, and he helped me get 180$ off of my bill bringing it down to $354 instead of $534.. is that math correct?  Anyways, I was super stoked because he said $200 would be the max they would offer so I took the $180.  

FINALLY got to the gym, had an awesome chest workout and then went to check to see what time yoga was going on or if they even had a class tonight.  730-830 and it was already 750 so I asked a few folks if it would be 100% rude to jump in, they didn't think so and honestly I didn't give a shit, I wanted to test it out so I tip toed in and only disturbed one person, but then the rest were confused when they looked around and saw a newbie.  Regardless it was like best 40 minutes of the day!!!!!!  I have found a new love, I can't wait to go again.  It was just so relaxing and I definitely need to be more limber at my old age! 

Well folks, this is getting quite long and I am sure ya'll are tired of reading by now but I am proud to say a shitty ass day turned out just fine..now....if only my Grandma would be better......